Every journey is different...

 - Call all your friends and family and tell them you are never coming back.
- I am so confused. I can't...
- It's your choice, but you know you will never leave if you don't get out now....

There are times in our lives when we feel we don't belong to a place and all we can do is run and search and discover things about ourselves that we have never expected they would be there. For most of people I am someone who broke some unwritten rules that are considered normal and I probably shouldn't live among them because I am a bad example or I can influence their kids. I don't know what they think. But I just wanna ask: it is better to teach our children to live in lies and deny themselves because we think they would embarass us or just let them be different and happy and ready to explore this world?
I went through some of the hardest experiences in my life. I was beaten and broken and chased away, but I will never regret. I remember I had a girlfriend at that time and it was pretty good but I have always felt like that wasn't me. So, one night I went out with my friends in a bar. It was a boys night to celebrate our last weeks in highschool. Everything was good, until this guy, looking like a rockstar, dressed all in black and having that edgy artistic look came by the bar and ordered a drink. Suddenly my phone rang, but I closed it.
- Hotel California, The Eagles.
- What? I asked very surprised.
- Your ringtone. A classic. I didn't expet a word from him, but it seemed that people are not what we think. I am Josh by the way.
- Joseph. Nice to meet you!
- So your friends let you drink alone.
- Quite so...I am not a fan of billiard.
- You must be kidding, it's an interesting game, he said in a way that made me wonder if it actually was. Maybe I will show you one day and you'll change your mind.
I didn't know what to say about that.
- Look, I gotta go now, my friends are waiting for me, but I'll see you around! He left and I was still wondering why this conversation changed something in me.
Soon I forgot about that night, until the day I ran into him at some friend's party and he was apparently an old friend with the host. It was a nice guy beside his cool appearance and the fact that almost every girl was staring at him. And how couldn't they? Girls like blue eyes and bad boy look.
We all had fun that night. Drinking and dancing, being happy that we finally graduated and something new was expecting us, but for me all changed in a moment. It was when we decided to play spin the bottle and I had to kiss him. I felt so embarassed because everyone was watching and clapping and screaming but when it happend I knew that this was the missing piece. That was the reality, the answer I was afraid to look for. I knew why his presence had that effect on me, because he was the same, only that he already knew it.
And since then we started to meet more often, but what was next was a living hell. My so called friends started to make fun of me, to call me in different ways, to say that they were afraid to be around me, until the day I had the courage to confront him. Maybe it wasn't a good idea because they started to push me and insult me and finally I was let beaten in the middle of the street. I called my girlfriend and she took me to her house.
- I am sorry, I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. You don't deserve that.
- Stop crying! It's not your fault. She started to clean my injuries. She was so kind and protective and I wasn't good for her.
- But you are just...
- Please, don't apologise! You'll make me cry. And if it helps you, I realised that before. I looked at her surprised. I saw it, Joseph, from the way you looked at him. I have never seen that face before.
I looked into her eyes. They were full of tears. I hurt such and innocent girl who should have hated me, but still she was there, helping me.
- But why, I asked.
- Because you don't have to apologise for who you are. You just needed a little bit more time to figure it out.
I hugged her. I was sure I would never find another friend like her.
- Now you have to talk to your parents. I knew that was the next move.
- Will you come with me?
- Sure!
We went back home and I will never forget their reactions. My mun started crying and my father slapped me so hard that I fell on the floor. I was a disappointment for him, a freak. Alison helped me to get back on my feet but my dad's words killed me.
- You get out of this house right now! You are no longer my child! That's not the way I raised you!
My mun tried to convince him, but it was useless. I went through that door and I got to know the feelig of release amd liberation. I never looked back. I knew if I had done it, I wouldn't be able to live my life right now.

How to destroy a woman...

I killed her. I broke every bone in her body. I destroyed every memory, every feeling that she has ever had for me. I wanted to see her hurt, humiliated, calling for someone who was never there. She changed me. She was the only one capable of something like that. And because of this, I hated her. I hated to love the way she was calling my name, lighting her cigarette or just walking. She was never simple and I wasn't an angel. I was a monster craving for pain, for blood. I didn't want to feel. I wanted something and I got it, but then I wanted something else. I know I was selfish and cold, but the devil lives inside us, in our actions, in our eyes. I still can remember one of our conversations. She was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in her hand and she was covered in the smoke coming out from from the cigarette.
- You know, I can actually understand your type, she said looking at me with some kind of superiority.
- So I am a "type". Interesting...But if you really do, this means you know what I am capable of, so why do you stay?
- Because I can. Again she had the same look in her green eyes.
- Then I can't wait to see how long it will last.
- You'd be surprised, my dear. I can't wait to unleash the demon inside.
- But maybe it will bite you.
- But then remember that I am poisoned. And she smoked again, smiling at me.
- Hmm...impressive. I would like to ask something. If you don't mind, of course...
- Darling, I am too young to actually care about those things. So ask! She was smart. Maybe that was what I liked. Some competition.
- Ok, then. Which is your favorite song?
- Sunglasses at night - Corey Hart, she said without thinking like she already knew the question.
- And your movie?
- Breakfast at Tiffany's.
- But you have some taste. Too bad it won't help you. She didn't say anything. She didn't even blink. You don't want to ask me anything?
- I have seen what I needed to. I already know enough.
- Your choice. But believe me, this will be the death of you.
- Better dead for something, than alive and still searching. She poured herself another glass of wine and went to the window. It was the begining of the end and she knew it. She was smart, beautiful, courageous. She loved all those conversations in which you made her realise how special you knew she was.
She seemed unbreakable, but my mind was too evil to stop right now. So I found the easiest and the cruelest way to break her: I started to treat her like an ordinary woman...

Until you come home...

I am alone in the woods and the cold wind is making my body ache. I run but I don't know why. I feel that something is behind me but I can't see it. I don't know what to do, I don't know where I am. It is just...what was that? I heard something. But I can't run anymore, I need to stop or I will find myself on the ground in the next minute. I will stay here to recover my strenght. Look! There is a crow in that tree. At least I am not alone. It is staring at me, but wait...it is coming closer and closer, what the...oh no it bit me and it keeps attacking me. God, what's happening here? I have to run again, but the crow is behind me. My heart is beating so fast and my hands are full of blood. But wait, from where is coming all that blood? I don't feel any pain. And why I see my little brother waving at me?
- Dylan, where are you going? Please don't run from me! You know it wasn't my fault. Dylan!!! I do what is right. I didn't do this to leave you. I think I paid enough for your hate. Look at me! I am here on my knees begging...
Out of nowhere my little brother shows up in front of me, having those big blue eyes that always broke something inside me when they were full of tears.
- Dylan...
- You know I am not real, but death is. Try to stay away from it until you...And suddenly he disappears.
- Until what? Dylan?
I hear a gunshot and I am awake. It was all just a dream. I am again where I am supposed to be. With my others army brothers. This is where I belong. At least for now. It is my duty to protect the others. I know that he didn't understand but I know that he forgave me. And I realised what he was trying to say: until you come back home...

Hello world!

I created this blog because I wanted to share with you stories that happen everyday but we don't pay attention to them or we don't want to see them, but they are here. These are stories that can change someone's life, that we find ourselves in.
I would like to begin with a little game. Imagine that you were told you have only one week left in this world and you can do whatever you want, what it would be? Would you travel where you have always wanted or spend your last time with your loved ones? Would you do something unexpected or overcome your fear? Would you apologize to all you have wronged or just try to forget them? Would you get revenge or forgive everyone? Think for a moment and answer it. Just realize what is important for you and try to do it. Your soul is waiting for you...