Sad and beautiful...just like the world

I tried to be what you have always wanted. I memorized words, pages, books. I kept track of everything. I lost hours, days. I lost my mind in the process. I worked days to make it right. I listened to you, I trusted your words. You are older than me. You are wise. You've seen the world.You have children. You don't have me, but you want good things for me. Or do you?
I have never made a bold move. If you said left, I turned left. And now, when I deviate from the track, you get scared. You are judging me for this. You are losing control.
But I'm not your child from what I know. You want me to be like you, like them, to become what you love. But what if, in this way, I become everything I hate.